Starting out with a Bang! – Introducting Matt Wilson

Having never written for a blog before and only having limited myself to 140 character updates on Twitter (@2MarineDad), I tossed and turned through the night in consideration of what is an appropriate first topic. Like any erstwhile author I want to capture your attention and hopefully hold it long enough to get you to the end of this first blog and have you eagerly anticipating the next profound statements of this virile middle-age man. Regretfully I am unable to dramatize this first post with explosions, car chases, sex scenes, or Hollywood idols- so you’ll just have to use your own imagination a little. But it is my hope that you will see that a redneck, hillbilly, hunting, gun toting, bible loving, heterosexual, white man can carry an educated and articulated conversation (just don’t distract me with boobs).

So who the heck am I and why should you spend even the slightest moment, the essence of the American surfer’s attention span, reading my blog? Well, literally you probably shouldn’t you lazy bastards- but I am a comedic intellectual and you’ll likely find yourself amused frequently and telling your friends about this site. You see, I am one of life’s mysteries! Born and raised in Marin County California, the very definition of liberal geography; a land of pink ladies standing against Marines, a land of education by osmosis, a land where unwashed hippies frolick gaily (never was a word used more adequately) through old growth forests bewailing the plight of the owl, a land where a woman is defined by the length of her armpit hair and not her IQ (or breast size)…and yet, I am amazingly a conservative. Does it not amaze you? It’s no less than superman falling from his planet Krypton and living amongst the mortals of earth! Having been born and lived amongst those of the far left, I have been given this special power…the power to see through the bullshit and lies. (Are you having any fun reading yet? No? Think of boobs, think of boobs…see all better)

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are surrounded by evil wrapped in the guise of charisma and perpetuated by a corrupt propaganda machine the likes of which our forefathers could never have anticipated. Beauty and idolatry are the order of the day while content and character have been relegated to the history books as ancient customs with little more believability than Greek Mythology. We live in a time where Iran, a country that has burned the American flag for 30 years was standing up to their leaders in mass protests and was virtually ignored in lieu of media coverage of the death of an alleged (wink, wink) pedophile. We live in a time when the daughters of a former Vice-Presidential candidate are used as comedic material in the sickest fashion. But worst of all, we live in a time where 50% of the American population applauds a man of power regardless of his validity, his character, his beliefs, or his actions. I am reminded of a line in J.R.R. Tolkien’s Fellowship of the Rings (I know right, oh shit he’s referencing Fantasy genre right out of the blocks) in which one of his protagonist characters describes himself in opposition to the nature of evil doers: “I look foul and feel fair. Is that it?” or via Macbeth (yeah, you’re screwed as I can quote Shakespeare) “Fair is foul, and foul is fair”. This country mocked, belittled, and defamed a President for his cowboy persona and his often uncouth responses…in the end booing and hissing him as his replacement was sworn into office while swooning over a man who personifies the wolf in sheep’s clothing (and when did sheep start wearing clothes). This country launched some of its most evil attacks against a woman for being what so many of us are, kind and folksy and dishonored itself with attacks on a man who stayed a prisoner of war and has devoted himself to this country’s causes. This country has decided that the bright light flash of city charisma are more worthy than the dirty fingernails of heartland farmers and hillbilly hunters, that glitz and glam can protect us and that the Marine, Soldier, Airman, and Seaman are somehow underachieving disappointments. We stand at the brink of “Change” with no passion to look at world history, neither ancient nor recent, believing that the pioneer spirit that allowed us to conquer England, the West, Germany, Japan, the atomic bomb, and the Moon- are enough to flaunt our superiority in History’s anthropomorphic face.

Well my friends, beauty is still in the eye of the beholder. Red, white, and blue still makes my heart stir. A man can still open the door for a lady. And EVIL can still be defeated at home and abroad by just a few brave souls. Let that 50% of us that truly loves our Country stand against this new internal tyranny that disguises itself in charisma and stinks of corruption, let us STAND OUR GROUND and return value to our Constitution. Let us show our Armed Forces that their current and past sacrifices are the precious blood that has granted us Freedom and the Pursuit of Happiness. But most of all, let us not fall into complacency and acceptance that as long as we look beautiful, we are therefore doing right and justice for all.

God bless us sinners and may he forgive me for being born in Marin County.